Moving On…Moving On. Nothing to See Here.

I know i promised you epic shits about my affection for pop cultures. But even I’m too lazy doing that. And as it always happen, something else more interesting to write came up, I started that instead,…and not finishing that either.

Then comes this. It’s what I think I’m being most productive about in my previous Multiply blog, second to my reviews. Those old days when I value love more than anything, and a heartbreak was very consuming, and frustratingly exhausting. Even remembering about them is tiring enough. But today, it’s not about heartbreak. Not even about love -at least with another human being. It’s about life, and it’s decisions that comes to this moment.

I just got back from Singapore, where I met two good friends. One is from Junior High, and the other from High School. The former is an architect, been living in the city for 4 years now. As an architecture graduate and a former architect, I asked a lot about his work, and he even took me to his office -which was so damn cool. The latter is one of the funniest guys in HS, exceeded everybody’s expectations by entering one of the best schools in the country back then, and now working in a regional civil engineering company, constructing a factory expanding project, and been living in Singapore for 2.5 years.

I have this certain romanticism for Singapore. Well, metropolitan cities in general, but Singapore holds a special place in my heart. My brother used to go to school here for 4-5 years, and I used to visit him at least once a year. I love Singapore for a lot of reasons, but mostly it’s how the public are served above the rest here, with top facilities, so as a citizen, you don’t have to worry about traffic jams, crime rates, a place to eat with myriad selections, even a court to play basketball. Everything is just a walking distance from your place. And what makes Singapore special than other cities, is because it’s so close from Indonesia -and Jakarta, should we ever gonna draw comparisons-, yet it felt like a whole different world. So close yet so far. It’s familiar, but it’s nothing like us.

And since the completion of Marina Bay Sands, Singapore seems to transformed into a whole new world. I went back last weekend for the first time in 9 years, and I witness how this entertainment and tourism area has majestically proved that this little port country has shoved it’s middle finger into the world’s ass. I wouldn’t say it’s gorgeous, but you have to admit, as an architect, you can’t help to be hypnotized by its presence. I stood across the triple towers, and stared at it for an hour or more, gazing and admiring, that something this grand, something that looked like it came out of a science fiction movie, is actually plausible to build. I was shivering. Then, I’m in love with Singapore all over again.

But MBS wasn’t the only reason for this…relapse of emotions. It was everything. All the things I told you -about my sky-high-achieving friends, my familiarity and comfort about the city’s public facilities, and the development in the last decade-, were just puzzle pieces. The whole picture is I used to have a dream about Singapore. And last weekend, that dream just came back and smacked me in the face. I dreamed that one day I could live there, earning twice the income than working in Indo, but most importantly, becoming a part of this amazing country, enjoying all its advanced conveniences.

Yes, it’s probably triggered by how well my friends are doing. And wandering around for two days surely solidify my opinion about how great it s life there. But most importantly, how my life, dreams, career, achievements, and probably image would improve greatly.

I had to bury deep my Singaporean dream around 7 months ago. After I moved back to Jakarta, I couldn’t find any architecture jobs, not even for assisting some small projects or drawing DDs for a friend. My life takes a huge turn when I started to put my writing works in my CV, and suddenly my writing dream was pulled earlier than I expected. After ten years of architecture, I am now a full time writer. Which has always been my dream from the beginning.

Yet, my job isn’t easy. And at the moment, I’m facing my last month of trial in my company, which my boss had given me an ultimatum for improving my performance, because they feel that I haven’t helped them significantly. Can’t blame them. I used to write articles, blogs, and reviews. Now I have to interact with people, I have to sell stuffs, make ad taglines and banner copies, and make some tips or lists about shopping. It’s the same ballpark, but different parts of the field indeed. And I might have been slow in adapting to the workload, the new jobdescs, and with life in Jakarta in general.

The short trip to Singapore either bounced me too high for expectations, or dropped me hard about the reality I’m currently living. Either I use that for motivation, or suck it and work hard for a much more realistic improvement. I can’t help but feeling envious for whoever had the chance to stay and work there. And I know I had that very same chance, and I blew it. And now I’m here. Not that I’m not grateful, just…the grass surely feels greener on the other side this time. I realised that whether I succeed nor failed in my current job, I have a CV to be proud of, and for now, I aim for that. I’m at the age where lovely dreams are the ones to accommodate me and my family’s future comforts, not the cooler ones. Singapore may be flashy, but Jakarta is my field to harvest now.

But Singapore, man. What a city. What a beautiful dream it was.


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